so one of the hottest netflix shows lately is this south korean reality competition show physical: 100, in some ways a spiritual successor to squid gamealthough while looking it up i just found out netflix currently has a reality competition show directly based on squid game in the works in addition to a second season of the original show. i was actually watching squid game for the first time (now that the dust has settled) concurrently with physical: 100, which was an... interesting juxtaposition. some elements were eerily similar in both shows, like the staff outfits and the maximalist set design. i wonder if physical: 100 took inspiration from squid game, or if squid game was purposely replicating established korean reality competition show aesthetics. i'm relatively assured of its popularity because even my mom was talking about it. for those unfamiliar, the premise of the show is that they gathered 100 korean athletes (plus a handful of foreigners living in korea) from disciplines across the board (olympic sports, powerlifting, mma, wrestling, crossfit, dancing, bodybuilding, climbing, arm wrestling, army drill sergeanting, etc.) and had them compete in various physical tasks to determine "who has the best physique". it's a pretty fresh take on the genre because you rarely see so many accomplished pros competing against each other outside their fields on these sorts of shows, usually in similar american shows (like wipeout, for example) they mostly cast "average joes" with wacky or manic personalities that will "look good on tv". the show is also notable for having some really creative designs for its challenges, which they are also able to make a lot harder than in other shows because the contestants are all professional athletes. probably the most memorable challenge from the show is one where they have to push a 2 ton wooden boat in teams of 10 across a couple dozen yards and then up a wooden ramp.

anyways, the other day i was working out with some friends in their big backyard shed, a former garage facing the back alley. incidentally this is the same "backyard shed" that served as the venue/stage for the concert that devoted readers will recall from "my budget bocchi the rock moment" of last month. i am starting to suspect there may be highly-hyperstitious mystic energies running through it. early into the workout (but pretty late into the evening), i started hearing a lot of engine revving noises coming from behind the back wall, evidently in the alley. it's pretty rare to hear any sort of cars coming through the alley because it's notoriously treacherous, especially after all the recent rainfall. currently you could safely say it's more puddle than dirt or gravel, and you never know how deep the huge potholes are gonna be because they are all filled with brown water. the revving noises kept going on and on, so eventually i stood up on some cinder blocks and took a peek over the fence into the alley.

⊕it was one of these big boys by the way, not the iconic grumman llv mail truckright there in the alley just behind the shed wall, there was a big white postal service van stuck in the mud like a beached whale, with a guy trying to push it from the back. it looked like the van had gone off the road a little bit into someone's backyard to dodge a particularly massive puddle (practically a lake, and ended up stuck in mud at an unfortunate angle trying to get back up the slight slope with absolutely no traction. a random guy from the neighborhood was hopelessly trying to push from the back as the mail guy tried to gun it from the front seat. it was basically the boat challenge from physical:100, which i had just finished watching with my friends. i immediately called out to the driver and offered our services.

the three of us joined random neighborhood guy pushing from the back while the mail guy up front kept flooring the gas. it was difficult because it was hard to get a good footing because of all the mud, but pushing in sync we managed to get the van rocking back-and-forth on its wheels and built up some momentum to get it going forward. we managed to push it maybe a foot forward, but we still somehow had to get it up the slight incline back to the road and that wasn't going well. neighborhood guy peaced out at this point, and the mail guy came out to confer with us. man, he said, i just had one more package left to deliver. he seemed a bit inexperienced and wasn't exactly sure what to do in this situation, so we tried to make some stuff up. we got some wood out and tried to put it under the wheels for traction, but it just kept sliding out. we tried to move the van backwards onto the wood and somehow it seemed to end up more stuck than before when we tried to push it again. finally, the mail guy decided that the situation was "totally fucked" and called in for reinforcements or a tow or something. we slunk back into the backyard shed with an acute feeling of failure, and one friend even went back in to the house. i had the feeling like i wouldn't be able to sleep at night from having left that postal van stuck back there. "our team has been eliminated from the competition."

about twenty minutes later, there was a bit of commotion in the alley again, so i peeked over the fence into the alley again. maybe a tow truck had appeared? no, now there was ANOTHER mail van parked in the alley. the reinforcements had arrived. a grizzled veteran mail guy had arrived who had evidently seen some shit in his time. "yeah these tires just ain't made for mud" he said as he laid down some chains in front of the tires. maybe with his gear and experience we could achieve redemption? i asked if he wanted any pushers and he replied in the affirmative, so i ran back into the house and got the friend who had left to come back, along with another one who had just been hanging out. the four of us plus the mail guy took positions at the back and started pushing. it wasn't budging at all, and then the veteran mailman called out from the driver's window, "ready for me to start driving forward?". oops. with the five us, we built up some back-and-forth momentum again, pushed the truck a little, and then suddenly the resistance was gone and we were slowly but surely getting it back up onto the road. mission accomplished. the mail guy thanked us profusely and issued a blessing: "may your mail always come safe and on time".