over time my blog posts have been ballooning in size and scope, i seem to have forgotten that i originally made the blog to host lighter, off-the-cuff stuff. so, i'm going to dial things down a bit and do a quick rundown of the best movies i saw this year, since i've watched quite a few this year without any excuse to discuss them here. note that these are not neccessarily movies that came out this year, in fact i'm pretty sure i watched no more than five movies from this year, none of which made the list. ⊕suboptimalism 2024 gift guide

huge tray of cured meats from costco - $12.95

the humble muji penjamin - $1.90

nendoroid "mark" - ￥7,600 (税込み)


pump it up lx model - $16,000 + s&h
just think of it as a piece of exercise equipment

new japanese translation of 1984 illustrated by tsukumizu - $29.99


MINTTU 50%/50cl - €12.50 (at duty free on flights leaving the EU)
according to top researchers, there's nothing smoother at that strength

bad lieutenant: port of call new orleans

when i heard of this movie it intrigued me because of all things this is what the legend werner herzog (or werzog for short) returned to direct after a couple decades almost exclusively directing documentaries... a cop film starring nick cage with a horrifically clunky title? i had absolutely no idea what to expect, and what i got was a movie about the horrors of moderate to severe back pain. you may think that's a joke but back pain is serious stuff, allegedly it's what motivated that guy to shoot the healthcare ceo. what was also unexpected was that this was one of the strongest showings of nick cage's career, on par with if not surpassing my previous favorite appearance in "adaptation". he was able channel some of that crazy kinski energy (seems herzog can’t work without it) and in doing so proved himself the superior actor, since after all kinski was never really acting, he was just genuinely unhinged.

the wandering earth 2

this was actually last year's ninth highest-grossing film but since it wasn't widely released outside of china, only gentlemen of supreme taste and refinement have heard of it in the west. apparently it's based on a novella written by that sci-fi author who's become very popular lately. my friend got a hot tip about this movie so we watched it a day or two before it left netflix, and my god did it deliver. the scope and vision was majestic, starting off right away with space elevators and escalating from there. THE CHINESE HAVE SAVED SCIENCE FICTION!! i declared several times throughout the movie. one of the only movies this year that i can recall genuinely bringing me to the brink of tears. very stressful to watch, though, the movie is essentially a series of seemingly-hopeless nail-biting crises that somehow up the ante every single time, just when you thought it couldn’t possibly go any higher. then, as soon as the latest crisis is barely resolved at the last second and at enormous expense, a countdown timer conspicuously appears onscreen “TIME UNTIL EXPLODING EARTH CRISIS: T-4 hours: 35 minutes: 20 seconds”. it's pretty much problem-solving porn.
now i’m sure there’s some tiresome people out there who would be sure to complain in a review about how china always saves the day, but i bet those same people lap up scores of hollywood movies where america saves the day without making a peep...

mishima: a life in four chapters

this might be the only movie i’ve ever seen that felt like it was a work of literary criticism in cinematic form, something that hadn’t even occurred to me might be possible. actually, more accurately (and like any good biography) it was life criticism, a way of approaching mishima’s life that, if you buy the movie’s arguments, should be entirely valid because he considered his life a work of art. the set design is stunning and it has perhaps the best soundtrack ever to boot, it’s the only movie soundtrack i’ve bought on CD.

my cousin vinny

possibly the finest fish-out-of-water comedy ever made and although some jokes are a bit risqué, somehow it still manages to feel extremely wholesome (or perhaps the word i’m looking for is soulful?). the scene where vinny first visits the prison is probably the greatest comedic misunderstanding scene of all time. allegedly the depictions of courtroom procedure are some of the most accurate in popular film and it's a favorite of many lawyers, i’m sure it is frequently screened at law schools, in the same way that my AP calc teacher showed us stand and deliver and mean girls (he paused the movie and had us solve the calc problem at the end).

my dinner with andre

if you’re ever curious what it might be like to meet me, here's a good simulation...

hundreds of beavers

just a very fun film overall, not just because it fooled a bunch of pretentious arthouse film enjoyers into coming in to watch what is essentially a survival video game ("don't starve" is what i have in mind) let’s play with wacky costumes and slapstick. gives me hope for the future of film because it was shot by a couple of dudes on a shoestring budget over the course of years during winters in the minnesota wilderness. my cousin is going to film school and i mentioned this as one of the best films i've seen recently and he looked astounded, “really? you’ve seen hundreds of beavers? i love it too but nobody i've met at school has seen it!” maybe you’re going to the wrong school, i replied.

the blues brothers

the movie that put chicago on the map. i wasn’t that into it at first but they demonstrated a dedication, nay, devotion to the bit that i couldn’t help but admire. as things escalate, it improves linearly with its runtime.

lost in translation

(not positive i watched it this year or last)

the best depiction of jet lag ever put to screen. i still think about the “CUTTO CUTTO CUTTO” japanese commercial director all the time, he is an inspiration. more evidence for my theories about japan taking the most minor details extremely seriously. also one of the few movies to feature arcade rhythm games, specifically pop’n music, though the guy playing it in the movie is no good at all despite how much he hams it up. i wish the park hyatt tokyo wasn’t currently closed for renovations (i looked it up), it’s an unreal vibe, i would burn through my whole stockpile of chase ultimate rewards points to stay there, though i know for sure going for a swim at like 2am would be impossible because every freaking hotel pool closes way before that.

police story

jackie chan at his best, iconic action scenes that are extravagant but not too over the top, still believable maybe because back then everything had to be done with practical effects. as a breather between fights there are a variety of slapsticky comedy sequences, most of which are quite hilarious. every time i watch an action or martial arts movie it feels like I’m trying to recapture the highs from this one, which even its own sequel didn’t manage to match.

rap world: the making of the album

now this is TRUE independent avant-garde cinema, the future of filmmaking. finally, a period piece set in the noughties, those years so close but yet so far, the last stand of western civilization. more or less the culmination of connor o’malley’s years-long efforts to perfectly crystallizing the zeitgeist of being a lower middle class suburbanite during that era.

uncut gems

stressful to watch but a worthy addition to the sleazecore pantheon, also a startling reminder that adam sandler can actually act. sandler is one of those distinct actors who's been typecast so hard that in every role you just see him as "adam sandler", the kind of perception that would be distracting in a movie like this, but he plays so far against type that you completely forget it's him. should be required viewing before signing up for any sports gambling app, or maybe not...

all about lily chou chou

i downloaded this five years ago and tried to convince my friends to watch it ever since, although i didn't really know enough about the content to really sell it to them. i'm still not positive why we finally watched it, maybe we'd run out of everything else that we'd downloaded. it has an UNRIVALLED aesthetic, and wow, once again a reminder that japanese bullying is really next-level. also, possibly the first movie to feature an internet forum. one of these days i hope i’ll be able to convince people to watch a vaguely related movie “love and pop”, hideaki anno’s live-action directorial debut shot entirely on camcorders using minidv cassettes and thus only available in atrocious quality. i feel a certain kinship because i myself filmed many school projects using my dad’s old minidv handycam, even long after far better options were available, to the extent that i might be the last person to have filmed a serious project on minidv.

chungking express

an ethereal film, the wonky structure fusing together what are essentially two somewhat-related short stories shouldn’t’ve worked but you barely even notice. one of my friends swears up and down that this year as he was passing through denver international airport on may 1st, they played the faye wong cover of “dreams” from this movie over the speakers.

cure

absolutely no way this movie didn’t inspire urobuchi

la haine

another classic “one crazy night with the boys” movie (one of my favorite genres), this time featuring disadvantaged hooligans from the parisian banlieues

true detective season 1

absolutely lived up to the hype, maybe the most "literary" tv show that's ever been made. louisiana is the perfect setting for a detective show, who knows what monsters lurk in the depths of the swamp? rust cohle is literally me.

the beast games

⊕one of the most fascinating things is how the show manages to be so original while simultaneously being extremely unoriginal, for example when mrbeast needs an expensive car to give away of course it's gonna be a LAMBO, or if they need a team of professionals to pursue contestants in challenge, yup they're gonna get navy SEALS. the wildest part is how clearly the entire production design was influenced by squid game, which in the future it might be necessary to remind people was originally a work of fiction. so many of these elements he's copying weren't in gameshows at all before squid game: huge numbers of contestants, the giant pile of prize money always in sight, numbered jumpsuits for each contestants, the contestants living on the set, the ominous masked "guard" uniforms for all staff members besides a handful of hosts.admittedly i only watched the first episode a couple days ago and i'm not sure if it's any good, but it's thought provoking and clearly represents a revolution in tv gameshow production. mrbeast's main innovation is his "more is more" philosophy, his way of just throwing around more money than anyone has ever dared to before is so stupid it's brilliant. only one episode in he's probably already given away more than some game shows have in their entire runs, and that's without even mentioning the unbelievable amount of money they must have spent building the sets or buying literally 1000 cameras. he makes sure that you can always SEE the money, the grand prize of $5 million is sitting there in the center for him to stand on, when he gives away a million at the start guys come out and dump it out on stage from burlap sacks with a "$" stamped on them, and when he's bribing people to leave early the bribes come in attaché cases lined with bills. even after all payments have gone completely digital, the US Mint will continue producing $100 bills for use as props in mrbeast's extravaganzas. mrbeast himself effortlessly slips into the role of "sadistic game show host from a dystopian movie", something feels really off about him and his gang of zoomer friends going around tormenting a bunch of poor people who are generally much older than them.

i don't have a spotify wrapped or anything but i know for a fact this is the song i listened to the most this year (at least a thousand plays)

now if you’ll excuse me, i have to go catch the last episode of this season’s top anime, ぷにるはかわいいスライム