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eccentric, raconteur, flaneur, cynical optimist, maximalist minimalist, 浪人, recovering gamer, Slavo-Germanic Amero-Bohemian, "one decimal point club" member, Valued Customer, worldly yet provincial, american lost in america, éminence grise, [REDACTED BY ORDER OF THE HIGH ASCENDANT], wine-drunk, 妄想中, VF 16.484, grad student in the invisible college, victim of countless bureaucratic conspiracies, making glacial progress on writing a novel (a modern retelling of the odyssey in which an incel journeys across america on a quest to slay Virginity)(spoiler: i will not finish writing it)
characters who are Literarily Me:
  • julien sorel
  • švejk
  • ignatius j. reilly
  • botchan
  • stephen dedalus
  • bernando soares
  • pechorin
2 words, no space, fill in the following vowels:
i x 3, u x 2, e x 1, o x 1
suboptimalism is an Ambitious Intellectual Project instigated by the theories in its foundational document, “the suboptimalist manifesto”, some scribblings concocted after going "monkmode" in a suffocating library basement for four months. unlike many so-called manifestoes you see around, it is more in the remote-shack-in-the-woods tradition, a full-blown half-baked Philosophy of Life. most of the longer writings on this site build upon suboptimalist themes (or tear down optimalist ones), which may or may not be explicitly acknowledged. unfortunately the suboptimal path is necessarily long and meandering and so this site also features innumerable diversions, dead ends, and dives in the spirit of a late night wikipedia binge into topics as disparate as canned coffee, literature, travels through hyperreality and the Desert of the Real, sound games, internet theory, deep memetics, &c, &c (but do not, i am begging you, read any of my fictions). inevitably, in five years i’ll look back and cringe at everything i’ve done here, and in ten i’ll send assassins back in time to kill my past self to prevent it from being made in the first place (a move that my indefatigable critics will deride as “loopy” and “paradoxical”). so, enjoy it while it lasts!
selected works
disclaimer: everything posted on this website is health, legal, investing, and financial advice. all opinions expressed here are also those of my employers, advertisers, and associates, past present and future.